


If I Should Go Before You

by Athena83



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 16:39:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17328647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athena83/pseuds/Athena83
Summary: Yondu doesn't want Reader to go on a mission, for her own safety, but she does anyway.





	If I Should Go Before You

“So when are we leaving?” you asked Yondu, as you watched him working on his holopad.

“Well, me an’ the crew are leavin’ in the mornin’, but yer stayin’ right here.”

“What are you talking about?  I can help!”

“No way, it’s too dangerous,” he replied, without even looking up at you.

“I can handle it. I’m not totally helpless, you know.”

“I know ya ain’t, but ya still ain’t goin’ with us, an’ that’s final.”

“I can’t believe this.  Why are you treating me like a child?  What was the point of me doing all that training and learning to use weapons if I’m never allowed to go on a mission?”

“Ya learned all that to be able to defend yerself in an emergency, not to go lookin’ fer trouble.”

“I’m not  _looking_  for trouble, I just want to help!”

“My answer is no, an’ I don’t wanna hear no more about it.”  He finally looked at you, and you could tell his mind was already made up.  

“But, Yondu...”

“No!”

“Fine! But don’t expect me to be sitting here waiting for you when you come back.”

“An’ just what is that supposed to mean?”

“I think you know what it means,” you said,  as you spun on your heel and walked angrily to your room.”

“Y/N, get back here!  Y/N!”

Slamming your door, you crossed the room and threw yourself on your bed.  He was  _infuriating_.  You couldn’t believe he was refusing to let you go.  You knew you could help.  You trained  _every day_ and could handle your weapons, and it wasn’t like you  _wanted_  to have to use them, but you felt so useless being stuck on the ship while everyone else went out on missions.  You wanted to pull your weight as part of the crew.

Sighing, you sat up and rubbed your face.  You decided to take a long, hot shower to try to calm down, and, though you’d never admit it,  you pettily hoped that you’d use all the hot water before Yondu took a shower.  Once the water was cold, you put on your pajamas and crawled into bed.

You turned off the bedside lamp and rolled to your side.  A few minutes later, you heard the door open and Yondu whispered, “Ya still awake, Y/N?”

You ignored him and focused on keeping your breathing even.  He finally sighed and you heard him walk into the bathroom and get into the shower.

“Dammit, girl!” he yelled as the icy water hit him.  You smirked as you listened to him grumble.  A small part of you felt bad that he had to take a cold shower, but the petty part of you still thought he deserved it.

He was still grumbling when he slid into bed ten minutes later.  You kept your back to him until you felt his ice-cold feet touch yours. You scrambled to sit up, and yelled, “Geez, Yondu!  Your feet are like ice cubes!”

“Well, no wonder, considerin’ I just had ta take the galaxy’s coldest shower.  The least ya can do is warm me up.”

“No, thank you,” you replied, lying back down and turning your back to him once more.

You heard him mumbling under his breath, but didn’t respond.  You had never fought with Yondu before – oh, you’d had little squabbles, but you’d never gone to bed mad at each other, and you didn’t like it.  You were still too angry to try to fix things, though.

You slept fitfully, and when you awoke the next morning, you realized Yondu was already gone.  You were surprised at first – Yondu never left without kissing you goodbye – but then you remembered the fight, and got angry all over again.

Who did he think he was, telling you that you couldn’t go?

_He’s the Captain, it’s his job to tell you what you can and can’t do on his ship._

Scowling, you ignored the logical part of your brain.  You threw back your blankets, jumped out of bed, and hurriedly dressed and brushed your teeth.  There was a chance they hadn’t left yet, and you had a plan.  Admittedly, it was a tiny germ of a plan, with absolutely no thought put into it, but it was a plan, nonetheless.   _You were going to sneak onboard_.  You’d show Yondu that you could hold your own, and then maybe next time he’d allow you to go  _without_  you having to sneak around.

After pulling your hair up into the messiest bun imaginable, you grabbed your quad blaster and slipped it into the holster on your hip, then slowly opened the door leading to the hall and peeked out, looking both ways.  The coast was clear, so you quietly made your way to the hangar bay.  You weren’t yet sure  _which_  crew member’s m-ship you would stow away on, but you figured you’d just hop onto the closest unguarded one.

When you finally arrived at the entrance to the hangar bay, you realized Yondu was standing right inside with a group of Ravagers, giving them some last-minute instructions about the mission.  You slid to a stop, and quickly retraced your steps, slipping into the nearest empty room while you decided what to do next.

If Yondu caught you anywhere near the hangar bay, he’d know exactly what you were up to, and he’d probably have one of the Ravagers guard you until he and the others left.  But you  _had_  to get closer so you’d be able to hear when it was safe to make a run to one of the ships.  Otherwise you might as well give up and go back to bed.  You were tempted, for a fleeting moment, to do just that, but then you remembered how badly you wanted to prove Yondu wrong, so you steeled yourself and crept out of your hiding place.

You no longer heard Yondu talking as you approached the entrance to the hangar bay this time, but you still hesitated outside the door.  You could hear engines starting up, and knew that you were running out of time.  Slowly peeking your head around the door, you realized everyone was already onboard their M-ships with the doors closed – except for one.  There was one at the back, on the far side of the bay, that still had its rear entrance door open.  You weren’t sure whose ship it was, and didn’t care, as long as it wasn’t Yondu’s, and you quickly ran towards it, hoping against hope that no one could see you.  Once on board, you found a hiding place behind some empty crates – ready to be filled with booty from the mission, no doubt – and tried to catch your breath.

You heard someone come stomping onto the ship, though you couldn’t tell who it was, then heard the rear doors close and the engine start up. You’d done it!  You’d never actually thought you’d be able to sneak aboard without being caught, and you were feeling pretty smug until you realized that since you weren’t officially supposed to be here, you’d missed the mission briefing.   _Oops._   Yondu always went over the plan for the mission with the whole group before they even left the Eclector so everyone would know what to expect, and what he expected out of them.  They would each have their own jobs to do, and he expected them to do them perfectly.  Oh well, you’d just have to play it by ear.

After about thirty minutes, you felt the ship start to descend, causing your stomach to flutter with nerves.  You still had to be careful not to be spotted by Yondu.  If he saw you while they were still near the ships, he’d make you stay behind, and you hadn’t made it this far only to be kept locked on an M-ship.

You waited until you heard the unknown Ravager walk to the rear entrance and open the door, then quietly crept out of your hiding place and ran for the exit.  The Ravager – you realized it was Oblo – was standing right outside, but he had his back to you, and with the noise from the other ships’ engines, he couldn’t hear you sneak off the ship.  You ran to the opposite side of the ship and leaned your back against it, hoping no one walked around this side.

Hardly believing you’d made it this far, you smiled to yourself in triumph.  You’d show Yondu you could take care of yourself – this would be a piece of cake.  You heard the men gathering a few ships over, and carefully made your way closer so you could hear what was being said.

Yondu was talking to the crew, and part of you longed to go throw your arms around him, but the stubborn part of you still wanted to prove him wrong.  You crept a little closer so that you could see the group of Ravagers, but stayed back far enough so that hopefully no one could see you.

Yondu finished up his speech and the group broke off into three smaller, obviously prearranged, groups.  

“Kraglin, you and yer group go in first.  Let me know when y’all reach the checkpoint, and then I’ll send in the second group.”

“Aye, Cap’n.” Kraglin saluted, and led his group cautiously to the entrance of a cave.

You had been so worried about getting here and not getting caught, that you hadn’t taken the time to observe your surroundings yet – a major failing that Yondu would surely have berated you for, had he known.

Looking around, you realized you were on a barren-looking planet, mostly covered by large, craggy rocks.  There were no buildings that you could see, and you wondered where you were and what Yondu’s mission could possibly be.

“We’re here, Cap’n,” came the sound of Kraglin’s voice from Yondu’s wrist communicator.

“Stay outta sight, an’ wait fer my signal,” Yondu replied.  “Tullk, y’all next.”

Tullk’s group headed into the cave, and you cursed under your breath.  You were hoping Yondu’s group would go next so you could leave with the last group.  There was no way he wouldn’t spot you following behind him now, and it wasn’t too late for him to send you back to the m-ships.  You’d just have to try to keep a little distance between you and his group, at least until you were inside.

“We’re in position, Cap’n,” came Tullk’s voice.

“Good, we’re on our way in.”  He turned to the remaining Ravagers and said, “Stay close together, watch yerselves, and whatever ya do, don’t make any noise.”

You thought he was asking rather a lot, considering Ravagers weren’t known for being graceful and quiet.  You also thought it was odd that he’d even need to give that warning –  _of course_ they should be quiet.  His group had almost reached the cave entrance, and you decided it was now or never.  You silently crept forward after them, only picking up speed once all of the Ravagers were inside. You peered around the entrance to the cave to be sure they hadn’t stopped right inside, but realized they were farther ahead of you than you’d thought.  Feeling suddenly vulnerable, you hurried to catch up, making sure to keep a little distance between yourself and Narblik, who was bringing up the rear.  

Dark passages opened up on either side of you as you followed the group down the main path, giving you an eerie feeling.  You felt like you were being watched, and expected an arm to reach out from within one of the passages to grab you at any moment.  You wished you could catch up with Yondu – you would feel much safer with him by your side – but, unfortunately, if you popped up beside him right now, he probably wouldn’t greet you the way you’d want.  Trying to ignore the eerie passages, you moved a little closer to the group.  

Yondu held up a hand to wordlessly halt the others.  You were stopped right beside one of the dark passages, and you tried to ignore it, but you couldn’t help imagining all sorts of creepy creatures who could be hiding right inside, just waiting to grab you.  You shuffled forward a little more, accidentally kicking a small rock, which hit Narblik’s boot, causing him to spin around to face you, a laser cannon aimed at your face.

“Narblik,  _it’s me_ ,” you frantically whispered, holding up your hands.  

The next thing you knew, Yondu was right in front of you, and the expression on his face told you exactly how he felt about your little stunt.  

“What in tha name a the galaxy are ya doin’ here, Y/N?” he whispered. He was whispering, but you  _knew_  if it wasn’t for the circumstances, he’d be yelling.  

You suddenly realized just how stupid your whole idea had been, and you especially regretted it when you saw the anger in Yondu’s eyes.  

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to help,” you whispered, feeling exceedingly foolish.  You considered running down one of the dark passages just to get away from Yondu’s disappointment, but he had a tight grasp on your arm.

He rubbed his face with his free hand, then sighed angrily, and said, “It’s too late ta send ya back to my ship now.  Jus’ stay in the middle of the group an’ try to stay outta trouble.  I’ll deal with ya when we get back to the Eclector.”  

You nodded, avoiding his eyes.  You were  _not_  looking forward to that conversation.  

He pulled you into the center of the group, and said, “Y’all let anything happen to her, and I’ll kill ever’ last one of ya.”

He returned to the front of the group, and you stared at his back.  He looked so tense now, and you hated that you’d caused that.  He motioned the group forward, and you slowly walked ahead, surrounded by the other Ravagers.  You  _definitely_  should have stayed in bed this morning.  

The main path suddenly opened up into a wide cavern, with a towering ceiling glittering with small jewels.  You noticed that the walls of the cavern were also sparkling with jewel-bright stones, but there was one large jewel sitting on a pedestal in the center of the room that outshone the others.  You gasped, then covered your mouth with your hand, remembering Yondu’s warning to stay quiet.  

Yondu lifted his wrist communicator to his mouth and whispered, “Kraglin, how’s it lookin’?”

“Can’t see nothin’ from here, Cap’n.  No sign of anyone.”

“Good. We’re movin’ in.  Lemme know if ya see anyone comin’.”

“Aye, Cap’n.”

Yondu turned to the group behind him, and quietly said, “Remember the plan.  Kraglin an’ Tullk’s groups are on the other side of the cavern watchin’ out.  If they send the warnin’,  _get back to this passage._ ”

You weren’t sure why he was telling them to run instead of fight if something happened, but you didn’t have much time to dwell on it, because his next words were aimed at you.  “Don’t ya  _dare_  leave Narblik’s side, ya hear me?”  

“Yes,” you mumbled, staring at the ground.  You felt Narblik move next to you, and then Yondu ordered him, “An’ if somethin’ goes wrong, you get her outta here, I don’t care if ya gotta pick her up an’ throw her over yer shoulder.”

You scowled at him as he turned to face the cavern again.

“Let’s go,” he ordered.

Narblik was walking so close to you that he kept bumping into your side, and you barely restrained yourself from shoving him away.  He was clearly worried about Yondu’s wrath if something happened to you.  The group started to spread out around the glowing jewel in the center of the room, while Yondu and Horuz approached it.  Half of the Ravagers were facing the dark passageways, and the other half were circling around Yondu and Horuz, all looking on edge with their weapons drawn. Narblik had his back to the stone, with his weapon aimed at one of the dark passages.  You drew your quad blaster, as well.  Their edginess was starting to rub off on you, and you were feeling decidedly uneasy.  

Suddenly a sharp clang echoed around the cavern and your head jerked in the direction you thought it had originated.  You saw Gef looking horrified as he stared at the large metal sculpture he had apparently just knocked over.  You heard shouts issuing from one of the passages, and turned in time to see Kraglin and his group running out.  

“They’re comin’, Cap’n,” he yelled.  You guessed the time to be quiet was over.  

Yondu cursed, then whistled, his arrow flying out of its holster to hover next to his head.  He briefly met your eyes, and you saw fear in them, fear for  _you_ , and in that moment, you hated yourself for giving him another reason to be stressed about this mission that was so clearly going wrong.  

Tullk’s group ran out of a passage on the left side of the cavern, and all three groups merged into one in the center of the room.  

You could hear unintelligible yelling coming from somewhere, and you strained your ears to figure out exactly where it was coming from. It sounded like it was coming from  _everywhere_ , and the closer it got, the better you could hear snarling and howling mixed in with the high-pitched yelling.

“Get to the main passage!” Yondu yelled.  Narblik grabbed your arm and started pulling you to the passage as the other Ravagers pushed and shoved in their hurry to escape.  You turned in time to see a swarm of tiny creatures running out of the passages.  They looked like little goblins, and they were  _fast_.  They carried long spears, twice as tall as the creatures themselves, and they hurled them with unexpected speed and startling accuracy.  

You heard Yondu’s whistle and knew he was trying to kill as many as he could, but you could tell it was useless.  There were just too many of them.  A few of the other Ravagers were firing at the goblins, trying to hold them back while the rest escaped.  You desperately kept turning your head to try to see Yondu behind you, but Narblik was relentless in pulling you to safety.  Finally you caught a glimpse of him.  He wasn’t running, and you realized he was still trying to get that stupid jewel.  At that moment, Narblik tripped, and you used his distraction to rip your arm from his grasp.  You ran back towards Yondu, shoving through the escaping Ravagers.  You fired your quad blaster at a goblin that was aiming its spear at Yondu’s back, and Yondu spun around to see you.

“Y/N!  _Get out of here!_ ”

You continued firing your blaster.  You were  _not_  leaving him in here, even if he was stupid enough to risk his life for a jewel.  

“Yondu, come on!  Forget that blasted jewel!”  

You ducked to avoid getting hit by a spear, then fired your blaster at two more goblins who were running towards you.  

You heard Yondu yell your name, then felt a searing pain in your upper leg.  You stumbled forward and looked down to realize you’d been hit by a spear.  You fell to the ground, screaming, and cradled your leg.  It felt like it was on fire, and the room was already starting to go hazy.  You barely noticed that the other Ravagers had returned to the battle, running around you as you continued to scream, rocking back and forth as you held your leg.  You were suddenly aware that you had been scooped up into someone’s arms.  You tried to open your bleary eyes to see who your rescuer was, but you couldn’t manage it.  You were so  _sleepy_  all of a sudden.  Your leg was on fire, and you just wanted to  _sleep_.  You tried once more to open your eyes, but gave up.

“Hold on, Y/N, I gotcha.  Don’t ya dare die on me, ya hear me?  Stay with me, Y/N!”  

“Yondu...” you whispered, before you fell into darkness.

* * *

 

 

You felt like you were floating in darkness, your body on fire, and you could only hear snippets of voices.

“Sir, you need to wait out here.”

“I ain’t waitin’ out here, I’m stayin’ with her!”

You tried calling out to Yondu, but your voice wouldn’t work. Why couldn’t you talk?  

“Sir, I’m sorry, but we’ve got to act quickly, and you need to stay here.”

“C’mon, Cap’n, let ‘em do their job, she’ll be okay.”  _Kraglin._

You tried so hard to let them know you were there, that you were  _fine_ , but you couldn’t.   _Don’t leave me, Yondu…_  was your last thought before you were once again swallowed by the darkness.

* * *

 

You slowly opened your eyes, blinking against the light.  You were lying in a bed in a room you didn’t recognize.  You started to panic, until you realized Yondu was sitting in a chair next to your bed, his head resting on his chest, but his hand still holding yours.  He looked exhausted, and you hated to wake him.  You squeezed his hand gently, but even that slight movement had him jerking awake.  When he saw your eyes open, he leaned closer to you, and whispered, “Hey, darlin’.”  

“Hey, Yondu,” you replied, in a dry and scratchy voice.  “What happened?  Where are we?”

“Ya got hit by one a those blasted poisoned spears.  We’re in a hospital on Xandar.”

“Xandar?”

“Closest planet with a hospital. Didn’t think we’d make it back to the Eclector.”  He cleared his throat, and you could see tears in his eyes.

The events of the mission were starting to come back to you in bits and pieces, and you remembered how much trouble you’d caused.  

You started to cry, as you whispered, “I’m so sorry, Yondu.  I shouldn’t have gone, I should have listened to you…”

“Shhh, it’s okay.  I ain’t mad at ya.  Yer gonna be fine, that’s all that matters.”

You nodded, still silently crying. Yondu brushed your cheek with his free hand, then gave a tired grin, and said, “But ya better listen to me from now on.”  

You gave a hiccuping laugh, and replied, “I’ll try.”

He leaned over and kissed your cheek. “Get some rest now, darlin’, yer safe.”

The next time you woke up, Yondu was nowhere to be seen, but Kraglin was sitting in the chair next to your bed.  

“Where’s Yondu?”

Kraglin looked up at the sound of your voice.  “He’ll be right back.  Jus’ had to go talk to one a the healers.  Ya feelin’ okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.  I’m really thirsty, though.”

“Oh, here.”  He poured a cup of water out of a pitcher that was sitting on the table next to him, then helped you drink it.  

“Thanks.”

“No problem,” he replied, placing the cup back on the table, and sitting down in the chair again.  “Cap’n was real upset, ya know.”

“I know he was mad at me,” you said in a small voice, picking at the thin sheet that was covering you.

“Mad? Nah, he was worried sick.  He didn’t think ye was gonna make it.  Never seen ‘im so scared.  We barely got back to the ship in time.  ‘Nother five minutes without that antidote, an’ ya’d be dead right now.  Luckily the Cap’n was prepared.  Knew we was probably gonna be dealin’ with those nasty goblins, so he had us all carry a capsule of the antidote in our pockets.  Only problem was we couldn’t give it to ya ‘til we got to the ship, ‘cause there was too many a them goblins around.”

“Did everyone else make it back okay?”

“Oh, yeah, we was all fine.  A few got some bumps an’ scratches, but nobody else got hit by a spear.  Jus’ real unlucky that ye got hit.  Coulda been worse, though.”

The door opened, and you turned your head to see Yondu walk in, carrying a tray of food.

“Thought ya might be hungry when ya woke up.”

He walked over, placed the tray of food on the small, swiveling table next to your bed, and helped maneuver it so you could reach it.

“Thank you,” you smiled at him.

“Yer welcome.  Kraglin, ya can head back to the ship now.  I ain’t plannin’ on leavin’ again tonight.”

“Aye, Cap’n.  See ya later, Y/N.”

“Bye, Kraglin.”  

Yondu sat in the chair that Kraglin had just vacated, then scooted it closer to your bedside.

“You need to go back to the ship, too, Yondu.  You look exhausted.  You need to rest.”

“Nah, I ain’t leavin’ ya in here by yerself.”

“I’ll be fine, the healers will take care of me.”

“Ferget it, I ain’t goin’ nowhere.  Now eat yer food.”

Obediently, you took a bite of your meal.  You weren’t really hungry, but he’d gone to all the trouble to get it for you, and you felt like you owed him at least that much.

“Is it good?”

“Yeah, it’s great,” you assured him.

“Good.”  

You took a few more bites, then felt him looking at you.  

“Why are you staring at me?”

“Wha’?  I ain’t starin’.”

You pointed your fork at him, and said, “Yes, you were.”

He grinned, caught, and said, “Fine, I’s starin’.  Jus’ happy to see ya awake and talkin’.”  His smile fell, and he continued, “Fer a while, I didn’t think I’d ever see that again.”

You felt tears well up in your eyes, and you put your fork down, pushing the rolling tray away from your bed.  You held out your arms to him, and he immediately leaned over you to envelop you in his arms.  

“Don’t ye ever scare me like that again, ya hear me?  I swear I can’t stand the thought a losin’ ya,” he whispered in your ear.

Crying freely now, you were lost for words, so you just held him tighter.

The door opened again, and Yondu straightened up.  A healer in a white uniform walked in, saw the two of you clearly in the middle of an emotional conversation, and walked backwards toward the door again. “I’ll come back later,” she stated, before closing the door quietly.

“Think yer cryin’ scared her.”

“I guess so,” you laughed, wiping your tears away.  You patted the bed next to your non-injured leg, and said, “Come on, you’re exhausted.  We can both get some rest until the healers come back.”

“Ya sure?  I don’t wanna get yer bed all messed up...”

“I don’t care, come here.”

He carefully climbed onto the bed beside you and wrapped his arms around you.  You snuggled into him as much as you could without moving your injured leg, and sighed.  “I love you, Yondu.”

“I love you, too, Y/N,” he replied, kissing your forehead gently.  When the healer returned twenty minutes later, she found the two of you fast asleep.  She crept back out, and quietly closed the door.


End file.
